December Reflections: 2012 My Year of Transformation

Grab an eggnog and read at your own pace!

Welcome to the December Reflections blog post circle. This is our monthly blog circle, and I welcome you to our last one of the year. Once you are done reading my post, I hope you will go and visit Becky Cavender’s site that I have provided you with a link at the bottom of my post.

 

I am about to share with you a year of my life… 2012!

One word can pretty much sum it up and that is… “Transformation”.

Transformation

The last several years have been all about Reiki, Karuna, Sphe-Re energy healing studies, crystal healing, essential oils, EFT and acupressure. I went through some intense personal growth on this healing journey that has led me to so much transformation in my life. Take a look here at how I helped create the bridge that was needed to bring together what I already knew, had learned and was passionate about and from there how it helped pave the way for how things would begin to take shape in 2012.

My soul was no longer willing to be this quiet little voice in the background… it was screaming loudly at me to start living my dreams. I knew it meant business, and I better listen and start acting. I was filled with fears and doubts on many of those days. My dear husband probably spent the better half of this last year doing Reiki sessions on me most evenings to help me get through those challenging and fearful times.

Marianne Williamson

Career coaching sessions ended right before Christmas of 2011. Somewhat surprisingly, I kept the momentum going and continue to do so to this day. All I did was put one foot in front of the other, day after day, and many days it was all day long that I worked at what I was setting up. I worked at it even when it was painfully difficult for me. I was like a bulldozer, pushing through. Many days I wish I could just quit because it felt so overwhelming to go through another huge learning curve. But I never gave myself that option. I learned to ask for help when I just couldn’t do it. And for that I especially have to thank my daughter for the countless times I said, “Amy, can you help me with this?” When she could, she helped and some days she simply reminded me that I needed to learn to make Google my BFF. Both my husband and my daughter are on my editing team. I love how they can fix some of my mistakes or make sense of what I’m trying to convey to my readers, when I ask for their services.

This year was very much about taking off with my dreams. I was learning about business stuff… social media… setting up a website… taking business classes… I also focused even more on healthier eating… continued my Heilkunst treatments and with my son as well… Bowen Therapy… Reiki… healing deeper (emotionally, physically, mentally and spiritually)… there were celebrations: my parent’s 55th wedding anniversary and a great-aunt’s 100th Birthday … travels: to Newfoundland (follow this link for 7 posts in total), Sandbanks Provincial Park… and also The Greatest Adventure that Never Happened. And you can find 5 blog posts on a retreat I went on this summer.

Cozy Country Afghan suzanne-mcrae.com

There was even a bit of extra time for me everyday for a bit this fall. You can read that story here. And I managed to do a few big projects also this last year.

This year, I expanded my horizon in ways I had never imagined I could do… all in less than 365 days. In looking back at this year, it makes me wonder where the energy I needed came from? There’s no doubt that a greater force was working through me, helping make it all possible.

A huge clue for me that I was on the right path this year was when I set up my website. When I published my first blog post on April 27th 2012 at 11:11 pm (that day in numerology for me represented a 1 day of a 1 month and it was 11:11 pm when I pushed the publish button). I love using numerology to help propel me in a more powerful way towards what I desire in my life. I did that on that late April evening knowing that the ‘1’ represents new beginnings and can turn dreams and ideas into reality.

After I began writing, I noticed a shift happening in me. The pains I had felt in my body for several years began to slowly shift and change and, at times, even leave. A few years back, I was seeing an Acupuncture Doctor and she mentioned to me that I probably had the beginning stage of fibromyalgia (Chronic Fatigue Syndrome). Stubborn as I am, I didn’t want to believe that. I was not going to let the thought of having such a dis-ease knock me down. Yet I struggled to keep that thought out of my head. I hated being in pain. The pains and fatigue at times made it hard for me to function properly. I didn’t share about this pain with many people. I don’t know how well that I was able to hide it but at times I could barely stand to be in my body. I knew that I had to keep it to myself, so I could figure out what it was that I had to learn from this difficult lesson that was coming through as pain.

It felt magical being able to write and put it out there in the world. This brought me great satisfaction, knowing that what I wrote, even if it helped one single person, made me feel like I was fulfilling a part of my destiny… my life purpose.

This was a topic that has had me very curious since beginning on my spiritual journey a decade ago or so. Why was I here on earth? What was my role, or my purpose? What gifts or talents did I have that I could offer? But I also questioned what it was that I felt pulled towards exploring. It left me wondering about my role as a mother to a young adult son with autism and where it was going to leave me. Surely my role was not to abandon everything I had done with him so I could live my dreams. This year, with the help of my new Heilkunst doctor, I began doing just that: letting go… simply letting go and cutting the unhealthy cords so he could be allowed to grow and figure out his journey and so that I could do the same myself. Not many months ago, I had such a tight grip on everything, unable to let go and let him grow like he needed to. Today, that is not as much the issue anymore. I continue to let go more and more each day as I learn to navigate what I came here to learn and do and he is discovering what interests him. We are becoming more separate of one another. So many things are beginning to shift and change because I’m choosing to live my dreams. I can see lots of future blogs posts about much of this.

Going back to when my son was diagnosed with autism in 1993, there was a part of me that wanted to write. I didn’t feel qualified to do that, but something told me that I had a story that I could share about the journey I was on of raising a child that had autism. Those years were during the dinosaur age of the Internet and we didn’t get our first computer at home until 1994, so I had no way of connecting with other parents that way. Looking back, I see that I probably had to take the road less travelled, the more difficult journey, so I could learn lots of lessons. That journey helped me find who I truly was and who my son was. It required many years for me to go through all that. And no one ever told me how winding the road was going to be.

winding road ahead

Little did I know that the journey would take me almost 20 years, to get me to this place where I can write the way I had felt called to do. Today, almost 8 months after I began blogging and writing, I am very proud of myself and of my achievements. Since that time I have written 88 blog posts, and have welcomed 9,100 views on my website and have hundreds of comments on my posts. The views on my website continue to steadily climb.

If only you could all see and feel all the joy and smiles that you all bring to my heart. I’m always telling my family in these times of extreme joy: “I am so tickled pink!” “My energy is bubbling over with excitement!” They laugh and tell me, “We know!” I would say that these are definitely external indications of how happy I am inside.

Another thing that I did this year was take several e-courses: How to Build a Blog you Truly Love with Liv Lane, Flying Lessons with Kelly Rae Roberts, and Positively Creative Journaling with Dale Anne Potter. I joined a few EFT programs with The Tapping Solution. Through these online courses I joined some private Facebook groups. I joined 420 Characters and Flyer’s Blog Circle, a monthly thing where we each write on the same topic. I have met some amazing people: healers, artists, writers, entrepreneurs, teachers, coaches and more. I have met so many gifted, incredibly talented and wonderful women and each one has inspired me in one way or another. I’m finding my tribe this year more than ever. I’ve found where I fit a bit better in this world. I never saw myself as someone really creative but after this year I am realizing that the creative monster in me is being re-awakened and I am fully embracing that journey that I have only just begun. I was also gifted free creative coaching this fall that helped me with writing in many ways. My coach helped me when I wanted to share my story for Chicken Soup for the Soul: Raising Kids on the Spectrum and potentially have my story published. There are a few other wonderful healers that I had met online that gave me free healing sessions this year, for which I am eternally grateful. I was asked by a few people to write guest blog post… one on Green Home Today – 9 days, 9 amazing eco-women series… and one on Late Creative Bloomers. I received The Very Inspiring Blogger Award and, in return, I had so much fun awarding some of my own favourite bloggers.

One of the biggest part of all of my transformation this year also ties in very well with 2012 being a year of Transformation for all of humanity as we come to 12:21:12 this Friday… the end of the Mayan Calendar… the beginning of a new world like we have never experienced. I’m totally into all of this without being able to put words to it very easily. Spirituality is a big part of who I am. So are sacred geometry, energy healing, alternative healing, even being able to create a few mandala this fall. I have loved being in that creative energy. I see shifts happening in consciousness. We are all being transformed in one way or another. It very much feels that we are coming to a time where we will be experiencing things that we have never even been able to even imagine before. I hold positive thoughts and vibrations that all of humanity will be ready for this wild and wonderful journey we are about to embark on together… that will bring us all to a place of Love.

I encourage you: Go out and live your dreams. Listen to that little voice that’s inside of you. Take a step in the direction that you wish to go. Keep feeling the feeling of already having it or doing it. Take a leap of faith… there will always a net to catch you as you let go and trust.

"You can never cross the ocean unless you have the courage to lose sight of the shore"

Photo print for sale available in my Etsy shop. Click on the photo above to get you there.

Let go of what no longer serves you in your life. Reach out to those that are already doing what you want to do. Follow them online. Read their books. Read their blog posts. Allow their success to be your fuel to get you moving forward. Get inspired and begin to see yourself as them. Dream. Dream Big! Map it out. Play with the words and images. Have fun. Ask the higher powers to show you the way. Ask them to support you. Ask them for what you need. Share your dreams, but only with those that will really understand and support you. Don’t allow roadblocks to get in your way. Even when you think it may not be possible, financially or otherwise, imagine, believe that you can have it all or something even better. Learn to use the Law of Attraction. Get in the vortex. You can do it! If I could do it, anyone can do it. Our family has had more than our share of issues along the way, but somehow, in some way what we needed was always provided to us. Believe!

In 2012, I began knitting and crocheting items that I was excited to put up for sale in my Etsy Shop. I set up my shop and figured out enough about it to post my first few items in February. In April I set-up my website. That was a huge undertaking and learning curve for me and there is so much more that I want to do with it but it will take time. July rolled around and I decided that I wanted a Facebook page for business. My business page grew in leaps and bounds as I met people online and in groups, family and friends also are there supporting me. Today, I’m thrilled to say that in less than 5 months there are 217 people who have chosen to follow me on my Facebook page. Another tickled pink moment for me.

All that I have created and done this year, I could not have imagined myself being a person willing to do business. Right now it seems that there are many arrows pointing in that direction.

My mother has been an AVON Rep for 52 years. I was a young toddler when she began her business and she still continues her business to this day. I knew I could never do what she did, nor did I have a desire to. Never in a million years would I have guessed that what I used to dislike about my mother’s business – how hard she worked all the time, all the ordering, shipping an delivering, working on customer satisfaction, all for over half a century – would someday be a big part of my own… I never saw that one coming. I’m just seeing this now as I write this blog post. The only difference is that my business is done from the comfort of my home through an online world. Never would I have guessed that what I would end up doing, over half a century later, would resemble what my mother has done most of her life. I could not see it then… all I could see was how she is very much a social butterfly, an extrovert who loves to be out and about meeting people. That fuels and energizes her. I, on the other hand, am more an introvert. I love people but I need to find a way to do it on my schedule, otherwise it has the opposite, draining effect on me.

Mom, if you read this… I thank you for passing on to me some of your amazing qualities such as your drive to achieve… your determination… your extremely successful business… your passion in wanting to help people… You always have something to offer to anyone who asks you. I now am able to see that what I am starting to do will need a lot of the same qualities that you have used in your own business all these years. Wow!

Somewhere along the way this year, I also set up other social media accounts and started to learn how to interact and communicate on Twitter. Come follow me there! And let’s not forget the fun place to hang out: Pinterest. I would love for you to come follow all or some of my boards there.

Pinterest http://pinterest.com/SuzanneMcRae/

Everywhere I go, I feel the love and support of so many… most I have never met. The online world is one incredibly big supportive and welcoming community where I can make connections that fit perfectly with who I am and the life that I want to be living.

Yesterday I wrote a blog post sharing some of the programs, e-courses, and books that have inspired me this year and some that are starting next year. You can go here to read all about them.

You can also check out my Most Popular Blog Posts in 2012.

One of my biggest dreams for the future is to be financially rewarded for what I do. My husband has supported our family on his own, financially, since our daughter was a baby, and I am now eager to help contribute to our household and to help make more of the dreams we have together a reality. My journey over the past quarter-century has been a challenging one, with lessons that were difficult for me to learn, but it’s opened me up to a whole new world, learning all about autism, alternative therapies, energy healing, spirituality, but most of all, finding who the true me is, in all of this. It has taken me this long to see the true gifts I was given. Now I’m ready to take those gifts and what I have accomplished this year to a whole new level in the next few years and discover even more what it is that I want to do and how I will create that.

I’ll take this opportunity to send many blessings of love to each and every one, in gratitude for the incredible support you have offered me this year. Your presence has truly helped me soar like I never imagined possible.

Merry Christmas!!

Suzanne xo

Now I have the pleasure of inviting you over to the incredibly talenteBecky Cavender. I encourage you to head over to her website and read her post on December Reflections and what she has to say. If you have the time be sure to read several of her wonderful posts. Becky is truly an incredible writer. Click on her name and it will bring you there.

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Comments

  1. Wow, Suzanne, you’ve had one hugely transformational year. It’s amazing and just so wonderful. Well done for all you’ve achieved, I hope that 2013 will bring you everything you absolutely need for your growth too.

    Lots of love to you!
    Yaz recently posted..Have a Wonderful Christmas and a Fabulous New Year!My Profile

  2. Wow, what a year you’ve had, Suzanne! Good for you. It really does sound like a huge period of joyful transformation. So lovely to have ‘met’ you on this journey 🙂 All the best for more amazing shifts in 2013 🙂
    Malini Parker recently posted..The Possibility of CheeseMy Profile

  3. Suzanne,
    Your blog always brings me joy. Every time, you say something that speaks to my heart. Today, your post helped ground me a bit. I could feel all the pride and happiness in your writing; it truly resonates and brings blessings to all of us who read your words.

    You have had an amazing year and have accomplished so much. It’s really inspiring!

    Thank you for sharing your journey with us. I am sure that 2013 will be just as incredible for you and your family!
    Becky in Burma recently posted..Reflections: Circle PostMy Profile

  4. It is a wonderful post and what a huge year you had. Thanks for sharing your journey with the world. I am sure many of us will relate to your journey and will take inspiration from it.
    Naz Laila recently posted..Essential Life Skills; Learning to ask for helpMy Profile

  5. Very Inspiring! You have transformed. Your very blessed Happy Holidays!

  6. AWESOME Suzanne! You truly have had a transformational year & I am so proud of you and so happy to have you as a friend.
    I see those BIG DREAMS for 2013 coming to fruition!!!
    Dale Anne Potter recently posted..Guest Post: “Functionally-Challenged Family Holidays”My Profile

  7. Oh Suzanne! Who would have foreseen all the wonderful shifts you would make in the past year! Totally awesome! …you dreamt big! Now it is all to coming together!

  8. Wow! You accomplished a LOT in one year. Glad we are on this journey together. I will be excited to see what you bring forth next year!
    Nancy Lennon recently posted..Reflections of ChristmasMy Profile

    • Nancy thank you for dropping in with such lovely comments. I love how I also met you online this year. We have some things in common and that alone is wonderful. Love how we are in certain places together. Merry Christmas. xo

  9. Belinda Rose says:

    I had a year like this myself. If the past year were a movie I would call it “Transformation”! I think lightworkers are feeling this intense push. We have important stuff to do!! Like our part in healing this planet and those that live here!!
    Belinda Rose recently posted..A Christmas Prayer For a New EarthMy Profile

    • I totally relate to your feedback Belinda. It’s been quite a journey to get to this point this year. I feel the hardest part is coming to an end as we transition into easier roles surely. Loved having you here. Thanks for the lovely comments. xo

  10. What an amazing year you have had Suzanne! I can’t imaging how you could have done all of that. Isn’t is great that once we put our minds to something we can achieve whatever we want! I’m so glad to have met you this year and look forward to a New Year with our creative class starting soon!
    Sue recently posted..Comment on Sprucing up by MaryMy Profile

    • Sue I feel so blessed to have met you online this year. Next year as we continue to grow, learn and explore our creativity I know that we will be following each other again, and I love that. This year I was determined to make this all work for myself. I felt that I had no choice but to do it and move forward finally. Thank you for taking the time to read my post. Merry Christmas. xo

  11. Wow! I’m floored by this post and what you have managed to accomplish in 2012! Awesome! Just goes to show that we can accomplish a lot in a year by simply putting one foot in front of the other and not giving up. Also, thank you for being on my cheerleading team in 2013!
    Carin recently posted..Tell All TuesdayMy Profile

    • I know Carin that you will be living all of your dreams too before you know it. I love that we have also met online this year. It’s been an awesome year. Now I’m ready to slow down from a very busy pace for a few weeks before this next amazing year starts. Merry Christmas. xo

  12. Oh Suzanne, how wonderful to read about your transformative year!! I am so excited for you and your story is so inspiring and uplifting. I’m so interested in alternative therapies/energy healing and have no doubt that going on that journey has helped you in countless ways as you continue to find clarity and comfort in your life. Thank you so much for sharing this beautiful journey so candidly. Here’s to a beautiful 2013 opening its arms to you!
    Lesley recently posted..I’m Back!My Profile

    • Hi Lesley, thank you for dropping by with such lovely comments. I love that you also are very interested in alternative therapies and energy healing. It was lovely having you here. xo

  13. What an amazing year you have had! It was fun checking out some of your links and reflecting back with you. I can just imagine your family saying, “We know!”
    Michele Bergh recently posted..Blogging Tip – Why I Join ChallengesMy Profile

  14. What a lovely year you had Suzzane, it is amazing to read what all achieved. What touched me most was that what was left unwritten; your soul’s strength, perseverance and dedicated efforts. It is a very inspiring blog. My prayers and wishes for another happy and wonderful year ahead!
    Nupur recently posted..You….My Profile

  15. Wonderful post, Suzanne. I’m glad I hopped on over to your blog again, after being on a huge break from the blogging world for over a month. You’re such a light and a gift to the world. Thank you for sharing with us about your year. You’ve inspired me to do the same, soon. I love your tribe/community. xox
    Jess Morrow recently posted..they will be led by a little childMy Profile

  16. What an amazing transformational journey you’ve been on Suzanne, and kudos to you for all the effort and energy and action you’ve invested in creating a life where you show up as your authentic beautiful expansive glorious self and share you gifts! Your journey is inspirational, and I’m so glad you’re here sharing. May 2013 bring more joy, more blessings, more magic!
    Deborah Weber recently posted..Blessed SolsticeMy Profile

    • Hi Deborah, thank you so much for dropping by with such a beautiful message filled with blessings and such lovely and kind words. Wishing you a Wonderful and Happy New Year! May all your dreams come true. xo

  17. Suzanne, WOW! Good for you! I so appreciate your great big heart and shining light. There is such happiness in synching up with your life purpose–does this sound accurate for you? Bless you!
    Janet Hovde recently posted..Grief and Energy Self Care – Replenishment of Chakras and Aura – part 3 of 3My Profile

    • Janet, I must say that I believe that I’m on to something here, possibly in the direction of a life purpose. It feels very exciting what I have done this year. It’s brought me joy that I have rarely experienced before. That seems to tell me that I’m on to something here. Time will tell. I also feel that as long as I continue to follow the bliss I’ll be where I need to be. 🙂
      Blessings. xo

  18. Dear Suzanne,
    What a beautiful story and well written post. I felt like I was sitting in your kitchen having a cup of coffee listening to you tell me about your year of growth with such a happy smile on your face, and I’m so happy for you!! You inspire me as always to work harder toward my own vision and my dreams, and never to give up. You are a blessing in my life and I’m proud to call you my friend!!
    Blessings to you and yours, Kathie xo

    • Hi Kathie, I love how you enjoyed the blog post. It really warms my heart to hear that it felt like you were visiting and I was telling you about the year I’ve had. Love having you here. Keep on moving forward with your vision and dreams too. It’s a wonderful feeling.
      Blessings!
      Suzanne xo

  19. It certainly has been a big and transformative year for you! Congratulations on all that you have set up and achieved! Love that you are doing a similar take on what your mother did, but with your own stamp on it! I have read over and over again about following your heart’s desires and how things will fall into place! So excited for you…may 2013 be as exciting for you as 2012! Happy New Year!
    Anita Mac recently posted..Monday Morning Series: Winter WonderlandMy Profile

    • Thank you Anita for dropping by for a visit. 2012 was an awesome year for me. I love how I was able to listen to what I felt drawn to and it certainly has paid off for me with so much joy! Have a wonderful year. xo

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  1. […] new chunk of time. This always brings me to a time of reflection, you can read about my 2012 year here. I have taken the time to quietly reflect about the direction that I’m going in and what I’d […]

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