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Integrative Cancer Care... MRI today!! — suzanne-mcrae.com

Integrative Cancer Care… MRI today!!

I’m feeling grateful this evening that today is over. Part of it was really good, giving me hope and will be a stepping stone to my healing plan… the other part was filled with anxiety.

I’m blessed to have a sister that studied and became certified as a nutritionist a few years ago. The day after my breast cancer diagnosis she was knocking at my door at 11 am, with bags full of food. She came and prepared good wholesome meals for me and my family that afternoon. I was so grateful.

She has lots of contact from having studied a few different things over the last while. She also did some research for me and got some contact information for a few people who were highly recommended. Along with that she also discovered an Integrative Cancer Centre in that town for me. So today we met up and she accompanied me to the hour-long introduction session. I was so thrilled to be going there today and left even happier, because not only are these all therapies that I believe in, but better yet they are trained and experienced with cancer. This will be such an important part of my healing journey.

I already booked an appointment with a Naturopathic Doctor who specializes in cancer for next week. Actually everyone that works at this centre specializes in cancer. These are the services offered: IV Therapies for people with advanced cancer; they have a General Practitioner also on hand; Nutritional Consulting (but I have my own Nutritionist, my sister); Physiotherapy; Acupuncture and TCM Herb Consultation; Registered Massage; Reflexology; Reiki; Cancer Navigation; Counselling; Yoga Therapy; Conscious Living; and Hypnosis Visualization. All at a cost of course. There’s only the General Practitioner covered by OHIP (ontario health insurance plan). I’m grateful that my husband has an extended health care plan at his work, but I honestly don’t know yet how far it will take us with all that I will need to do. There’s only a certain amount every year that gets covered.

Deep breath!! Trust!! Pray!! Believe!!

We weren’t alone at this information session, we were about 9 people, and I believe 4 of us are dealing with cancer. One was a young couple who just got married this past weekend, he has advanced cancer. I wanted to cry when I heard this.

This centre offers complimentary cancer care alongside conventional treatment. They work with the patients and collaborate with their oncologists, surgeons or family doctors to help with the person’s overall wellness and recovery. We were told today that only about 20% of oncologists believe in complimentary care. Apparently this is huge progress from not that long ago. Hoping that when the time comes for me to connect with an oncologist that I will have exactly the right person that I need on my team to cooperate in bringing this all together in the way that I wish to see it happen.

I want my specialized plan to address the body, mind and spirit aspects of healing… not just the body.

If all works out I want to attend a 3-hour empowerment program there next week. I’d love for my husband to be able to come to this with me. The program will help me to understand the cancer landscape as they call it, and help me to navigate it well (I need to get used to do asap); also learn mind-body techniques to reduce fear and anxiety (could have used that one this afternoon); and teach us the benefits of nutrition and exercise as cancer is faced. As well as learn how integrative therapies can assist before, during and after any hospital based treatments.

After the hour at the Integrative Cancer Centre, my sister and I found a quiet park that had huge trees, we sat quietly having a picnic that she had brought. Before we headed out she had us both doing a meditative walk bare feet… barely moving for 15 minutes. I released so much stress doing this and was taking the biggest deep breaths and releasing them. Talk about an awesome grounding technique.

We met my husband near the hospital and we headed to my MRI appointment just before 3 pm. I felt really good after that meditation walk and was ready to get this done. I was concerned about feeling claustrophobic in the machine though.

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All I knew is that the MRI test was going to take 45 minutes and I’d be laying face down they told me like superman, with my breasts in cups. Not a pretty visual. Too much information!! I had a terrible time calming my anxiety as soon as I laid down on the table. This past weekend, I had a lot of anxiety all weekend. It’s all starting to sink in.

Before they called me in for the MRI I sat in the waiting area and met the nicest young man. He was going for his 20th MRI in two years and had gone through many surgeries during that time. He asked what I was going in for, and he said that his mother got through breast cancer and is doing well today.

I managed to get as comfortable as I could on the MRI table. But I was no sooner in the tunnel that I had to get them to pull me out so I could regain my calm if there was such a thing for me today. I don’t know how I got through it, but I did. A little ways into the test, they felt that maybe I just wouldn’t be able to do it today without first having some sort of sedative given to me by my doctor to help calm me. The diagnosis was hitting me hard today. All the unknowns. How serious is this cancer thing? Where had my strength and courage gone? There wasn’t much laughing happening for me today at least not at this appointment.

After the appointment walking to my husband’s vehicle, the young man that had been in the waiting room leaned over and waved to me as he drove past us. I was grateful to have met him and his big smile was awesome and felt comforting. My husband dropped me off to pick up my vehicle and he drove back home to meet our son who was out for the day at some of his activities. I did a few groceries on the way home and almost started crying at the cash. Emotions don’t care what you are doing or where you are.

Everything feels magnified the last few days. My usual coping skills have all flown out the window. I have no choice but to look at all this, and fast and I don’t want to. At times I feel like having a tantrum instead, but that won’t get me very far or be of much help. Somehow I need to work through the emotions that are coming up. During the hour drive home there were lots of tears. I wish I was on vacation somewhere at a beach enjoying the sun, having fun, enjoying life. Things have sucked for so long in our family’s life that it’s hard to keep my head above water right now and put on a brave front with this cancer issue. We are all each having a really hard time. A familiar scene from two years ago… tears, tears and more tears.

So off I go… I will take a shower to try to shake some of today’s emotions… and do more EFT. I have to place my Young Living essential oil order this evening. But first I have to figure out a plan, a sort of program that I want to focus on for this next month with the essential oils and the cancer protocols I have to sift through.

Thank you for all the support and prayers that so many of you are sending my way. I truly appreciate each and every one of you. If I don’t respond to comments, please know that I read each one and so appreciate you. <3

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  1. Maybe you don’t realize it or even feel it right now, but I hear such strength and faith in your words. Your angels walk beside you as you move toward your complete healing and they smile and share joy in your brave steps. And…on those days when you feel you can’t do it…they will hold you within their collective and restorative embrace until you can. Much love to you and your family!

  2. So inspired that an angel was put on your path! I agree with Marti, there’s so much strength and faith in your sharing that we cannot but be uplifted by your journey. You may not feel it now but you will , I’m sure. Go in, listen, and know that you are loved. ♥
    Maryse recently posted..Human CompassMy Profile


    Dear Sweet Suzanne,
    I am just catching up here and am so saddened to hear of your diagnosis. But it is clear and not at all surprising that you are finding your way along this journey with determination and grace. I am a BC survivor of 13 years (age 42 at diagnosis), had lumpectomy, chemo and radiation. I am here to tell you that you WILL get through this. And you have yet to find out how really strong you are! Just take it all a step at a time. Get a full understanding of what you’re dealing with…this period of not knowing is the absolute worst and causes the most anxiety!! Once you know and form your plan of attack to beat this thing, you’ll feel more in control. And all of the appropriate complementary modalities will empower you more. Just count me among the many who are holding the space for you to emerge from this HEALED and WHOLE!!! I am sending you love and light,

  4. Mary Levac says:

    You are an amazing person, sounds like you have a handle on this big “C” along with your spiritual approach. You will get through this one step at a time. I know women that have survived, this terrible time and you will to. Lots of love and prayers your way. I enjoy reading your blogs, you are a very talented writer.

  5. Gratitude for having each of you here. <3 Feeling so supported.


  1. […] But my plans were changed when I received a phone call last week saying I had to go for the MRI on Monday, which turned out a week sooner than I had been told it would […]

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