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Entering into the Sacred Silence of my Soul! — suzanne-mcrae.com

Entering into the Sacred Silence of my Soul!

As the New Year 2013 arrived, I knew that I’d be entering into the sacred silence of my soul. This year was going to be a #7 numerology personal year for me. I really didn’t know where it was taking me other than a quieter place that much I knew. I really had no clue otherwise how it would all unfold or even look like. If I had known ahead of time I would have done some bargaining I think. But then real life doesn’t work that way, we don’t always get to choose our destiny and how it gets packaged for us, do we?

This year has brought me out to sea and left me there to find my way back to what I call my inner home… to my soul, to that place of wisdom and truth that resides inside of me. I have felt all alone to navigate the rough seas… just me, the raft and the silence. Quote As soon as the year began I noticed myself being forced to slow right down and shift the direction of my sails. The focus was on coming back to myself. This was not just something I pre-fabricated in my mind… the message was loud and clear, and I knew that I had to pay attention. If I had the opportunity this year to go and sit on a mountain top or out by the ocean for months by myself, I would have done it in a heartbeat. That’s how intense I have felt the need to be alone. It wasn’t meant to happen, at least not yet. So I have had to find other ways to do what I needed for myself amidst what feels like the busy-ness of daily life. There’s been more self-care going on for me this year and for a change I’m not feeling guilty about it, actually I think I’m making up for lost time.

It’s been a challenging 6 months or so with a Heilkunst healing reaction that I was going through. I’d like to say that I’m 100% through it, but there are still remnants that surface once in a while that I need to work through. It’s nothing like it was. I can smile again and that feels so good.

This spring I decided that I would take a break from Heilkunst after 6.5 years of uninterrupted treatments of me working through my timeline and chronic miasms. I had to give myself that empty space so I could figure out what I needed to do to help speed this healing process along. It was an incredibly scary time. I also felt that this was my best option if I was to get through this and heal completely. At the same time I felt abandoned, alone, no answers, it felt like nothing was shifting and I didn’t know how much more I could put up with. Yet, I felt that this was where I needed to be. I knew that the answers were inside of me, not out there. Heilkunst treatments have brought me on a wild ride this year, one for which I am grateful now that I have come through it.

I’m learning to listen to my Soul… that deep inner voice that speaks to me… walking a sacred spiritual journey that feels incredibly powerful and real… believing in my intuitive voice, its guiding me… reaching for the sacred truth… letting go of all that I no longer need even though it was part of my reality not long ago… so much healing is happening, so many shifts all bringing me back home to my true self… all of this has helped me connect with my Soul and to experience deeper healing that’s hard to explain. sun orbs This past week while chatting with a friend sitting in a park, I felt a profound shift and change happen in me as we talked. What felt like a forest with no clear path, with too many trees, suddenly I could see the trees (issues) that needed to come down (to be addressed). So much was becoming clearer to me. It felt like I was able to connect the dots with several things and it was instant clarity. Insights were coming in faster than I could take them in almost. Let’s just say that I was profoundly grateful that we were able to get together that day.

There’s no doubt that my Heilkunst treatments helped me get to this place. That day and the following 48 hours I was blessed with all sorts of messages from little creatures that were coming onto my path. They were in my face. I hadn’t connected in a long time with messages from animals, insects and bugs. But nature was talking to me last week. I love the symbols and the meanings of what each animal or bug has for us.

The day we were in the park chatting, it was the spiders that kept dropping down from the trees above us. I wasn’t as fond as my friend was to have them land on me. On the trail where we walked that day, someone had spray-painted a huge black spider on the walkway. It couldn’t be missed.

The next morning I felt so energized still from the previous day’s chat in the park, that I had lots of energy to tackle the gardening task at home. Over 3 hours later when I finished weeding, working up the gardens and watering them I decided to go back and take a close look at a larger shrub we have that looked like it was dying. To my surprise this big creature was there hanging on a branch. It caught me by surprise so I stepped back then got closer again to check it. It was beautiful. I wondered what it was? Our shrub had not been doing well and I wondered if this bug might have chewed away at the leaves causing this damage? I didn’t know the answers but went back into the house to grab my camera so I could photograph it. I had no clue what it was. On my way back out there sat a frog in the middle of our deck, looking at me. I had no doubt that I had to look up the symbolism of a frog next. I snapped a photo of him on my way to taking one of the pretty bug in the shrub. frog messenger / animal totem

Cecropia Moth

Cecropia Moth

When I posted this photo on my Facebook Page someone wrote back that she had researched what it was. My daughter had told me in the meantime that it was a caterpillar. I felt silly when she said that since I didn’t even realize that it could be a caterpillar. I remember caterpillars being brown and black. Plus I never really like them because when I was a girl some neighbours kids used to chase me with them. They knew that I was afraid.

The person on Facebook came back and said that what I had photographed was a Cecropia Moth. I had never heard of it. Sure enough when I looked it up, there it was. Then yesterday’s surprise came as I sat on the back deck typing away, a beautiful dragonfly landed on my right hand and stayed there for several minutes. There have been so many messages that I was blessed with receiving in these last few days, after feeling like I had experienced a profound shift and change in me. I am so grateful for it all.

As I read about the animal/bug symbolism on Whats-Your-Sign.com website, I saw a lot of messages that they were bringing to me that made sense with what I was experiencing in my life. Some of those highlights were… the moth is ever-vigilant in following its path of light… the moth is highly influenced by the power of the moon. Both of these I could say apply to me, trying to walk that fine line, towards the light and a better way of being, and the moon. I love the power that the moon gifts us with constantly. I find it extremely powerful. This aspect ties in with animal symbolism of intuition, and psychic awareness. Other worldliness. Secret knowledge and psychic awareness. All things that fascinate me and that I am learning to connect with. Spider symbolism is an ancient symbol of mystery, power and growth. Just as the spider weaves a web, so too must we weave our own lives. It represents an infinity symbol. In reading this I was now loving all those little spiders that day in the park, they were trying to tell me something. The dragonfly symbolism represents change. I like the idea that it symbolizes prosperity, good luck, strength, peace, harmony and purity.

Be sure to go and check out what a Cecropia Moth is here.

I see myself as going through phases like that of the beautiful Cecropia Moth, metamorphosing into something more beautiful maybe… where my wings will learn to fly. I may end up not needing that raft that’s at sea to find my way back home after all… I will have wings to get me there. This has been a challenging year in many ways, yet also one of profound healing and opportunity to connect on levels that I have never had before with myself.

Now it’s your turn, we’d love to hear your views or about your own spiritual journey and how you navigate through the ebb and flow of it all.

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  1. Listening to one’s soul is key and it’s wonderful to read that you’re letting it happen. In my experience it opens the door to more peaceful and positive inner thoughts and more enjoyment of and gratitude for what is. This in turn leads to a more meaningful experience of life and sense of wholeness. Keep going, dear Suzanne. The path is bright and rewarding! ♥
    Maryse recently posted..A Summer InvitationMy Profile

  2. We all need time to listen to what our soul needs. Dig deep it is there, you are a wonderful soul with so much to offer. Open your heart. Thanks for sharing…
    Sue recently posted..Comment on A trip to New York by SueMy Profile

  3. Hi Suzanne: I resonated deeply with this post – as Moses and I are also taking a break from Heilkunst (and I also feel that so much of Moses’ healing is due to Heilkunst). We are also going into the silence and listening to nature / Mother Earth and animal medicine.

    Deep peace to you.
    Janice recently posted..Mandaza’s visit to St. John’s, NLMy Profile

  4. You’re having an extraordinary year Suzanne – and finding your footing during such significant shifts can certainly feel wobbly. But it’s a joy to witness how open and committed you are to maximizing the gifts of a 7 year even if you can’t quite see them in the moment. I’m glad you had a dose of clarity with your friend – that’s such a relief when you’ve been struggling – literally a soul-watering oasis. And I’m glad you’re open to welcoming the messages for your allies in the animal kingdom as well. Beautiful deep stuff here, even if it doesn’t always feel like it.
    Deborah Weber recently posted..Self-Care: D is for…My Profile

  5. Breathe. Listen. Be. Grow. Love. xoxoxo
    Susan recently posted..Da CureMy Profile

  6. Hi Suzanne! What a great space you find yourself in. The quieter it gets the better, and as you evolve through this silence, you’ll find silence in the noise as well, if that makes any sense. I love peace and quiet. It helps the mind to stop grasping at stupid things, and it eventually only processes the stuff that we need to process, instead of the BS that we get involved with. So I wish you more Happy Silences!
    Yaz recently posted..My Camino Chronicles: Those Bandit ThoughtsMy Profile

  7. Thanks for sharing, Suzanne. Your journey is so similar to my own.

  8. Deep truths you share are so revealing and healing, Suzanne.
    I just had a katydid sitting on my cup near the sink. I looked it up and it means big leaps forward and abundance.
    I’ve had some deep yearnings and callings to get quiet and go deeper. Reading your story reminds me that this is ok and as it should be.
    Thank you, Kathy

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