Well week 4 of my Bloom True Intuitive Painting class is coming to an end tomorrow. We then have only one more week of lessons. It is unbelievable how fast that time has gone by. From there we then will continue blooming with our intuitive painting process on our own. We won’t totally be alone since we will have our private Facebook group where can share and support one another. This has been one incredible journey that will continue to unfold and transform.
This week has been a much easier week with my painting. I didn’t feel frustrated or stuck like I was last week with the darker more blah emotions that came out on my canvas. The intuitive painting really comes to peel away at what is inside of me. I have taken time out to work through some of this stuff. I focussed more on using Reiki and meditations to help ground my energy better and deal with some of this stuff that has come bubbling up to the surface. I decided to take a more serious look at thyself this week!
A student in Bloom True eCourse gave me permission to use comments that she wrote to me about one of my paintings. I thought that she explained beautifully the complexity of a being human and this painting process…
I love your textures, layers and colors ! There is something very symbolic to me, that a painting has A LOT of layers – As we humans are full of “Layers” – sometimes or rather mostly we don’t even know our own true self, our deep inner self, makes sense? We have all these facades, we are “supposed” to be in a certain way, we try to adapt to society – but when we do, we lose “ourselves” – You HAVE a lot of BEAUTIFUL marks underneath every layer, as a human being, you are also truly made up of all kind of “marks” – feelings/emotions/states of mind – sometimes frustrating feelings, even not so nice ones, but there are also beautiful feelings and emotions, just like underneath and on top of all your layers on your canvas ! You know they are there, we know it and thats the beauty of it all….The complexity. – Lone S.
Painting in Flora’s eCourse I can say with certainty has been a sure way of connecting with my true self, that deeper inner self. Lone describes it beautifully.
This past week we were encouraged to spend a bit of time out in nature, observing, being in the moment, taking photos, sketching, collecting items from nature that inspires us in our work. I didn’t make it out in nature. It didn’t appeal to me to be out there in knee deep in snow, or with the cold and blowing winds. Maybe this weekend I will venture out.
One of this week’s lessons was to begin looking at what was working for us in our painting and from there begin to look at that area and pick from those colours to transform the rest of our canvas. That felt a bit scary but yet brought me some comfort. It was a much more positive approach to see what was working than to look at my painting and see all that wasn’t working. I also discovered about myself that I enjoy the freedom to be able to change each layer if that is what felt right for me. At times I get lost in the process and forget that I can leave some of the layers underneath showing through. As you will see below some of my paintings change pretty drastically from one layer to the next.
Having a living room that looks like a painting studio feels kind of overwhelming too. Tarps are everywhere. It feels messy. Paintings leaning up against the coffee table, walls, the piano, fireplace you name it if there’s a horizontal surface available then there’s a painting leaning up against it. But, I’m very happy with what I’m doing and as my husband would say, if you’re happy then that’s all that really matters. There is nothing to question. I am very grateful for his support and my children’s support also. Last evening as I held one of my paintings to the kitchen wall, my son turned around and said WOW! He was showing me his support in that moment.
When I am painting it feels that I should have music on to help me loosen up a bit as I paint. I’m not sure how to even find music that won’t drive me bonkers but yet that has rhythm that will help make the painting process go smoother maybe. If you have any ideas for music that might be good to play while I painting, please leave me a comment below.
Then there’s the photo taking process of each layer of my paintings, now that can also stretch me at times beyond my comfort zone. I’m very grateful that I have a new DSLR camera to take amazing pictures, but it doesn’t help that I don’t know how to us it properly. Because the proper lighting is not always available, I had my husband set up something on the brick of our home so I could hang my paintings and photograph them outdoors. I did just that one day when it was pretty windy. That was interesting to do alone without my painting flying away and landing in a snow bank. But I was ready to paint the next layer and I wanted to take pictures before that layer got transformed.
So here you have it… an update.
I’ll start with what I call Painting #3… what you see here below is the 10th layer on this painting. You can see all the earlier layers to this painting in a earlier post, here. It’s not complete yet, but I am really beginning to like how it looks.
Next we are moving on to Painting #1, layers 10 and 11. In the earlier blog post you can see 3 photos of the earlier layers of this painting. Click here to go take a look if you wish.
The next layer after the blue one was layer 11. It turned out very different. Again I got carried away and forgot that I could/should leave a bit of the previous layer showing. But then with intuitive painting there is no wrong way. It is exactly what it’s meant to be. Although this one is still not completed, there are several things I like about this last layer. It’s a bit too dark and dull maybe, but that’s probably because I sprayed a lot of water on this one as I worked with the fluid paints. The colours are a bit too washed out.
Now next I will share with you Painting #2… here you have it starting with the 1st first layer…
Next was the lesson where had to start exploring with value contrasts using black and white. Well I wasn’t happy. I procrastinated and I didn’t want to do it. It took several days before I decided to do it, and that was only because I wasn’t going to skip a lesson. There was a real lesson in this for me to learn. I was still feeling very frustrated when I decided to do it as you can see below. I created mud with my colours then added the black and white contrasts. I didn’t want to do this next step so I pushed myself to just trust and try it anyway. Well that just spiralled me into more frustrations and I started thinking that I’d never learn how to paint. The gremlins all came out at the same time. This is clearly showing in the next 3 layers. But I also knew that there was only one way to find out if I could paint, and for that to happen I had to be willing to at least try.
Trying hard to trust this process. It’s been such a painful week. I am having to dig myself out of whatever it is that I am feeling inside of me so my painting can flow better and hopefully become nicer.
And this is what this painting now looks like now…
What I am learning about this intuitive painting process is learning to let go of how I think things should look like, and instead allowing myself to feel guided by my intuition, that gut feeling. It’s about being brave, and about pushing myself past my comfort zone and going a little closer to that edge of not knowing how things will turn out or what will show itself next. The edge is where fears creep in but I also see that it makes for perfect opportunities to face them dead on and push beyond them. I didn’t do a good job with that last week. It’s easier said than done. When I did finally get brave after several days of refusing and resisting, that’s when the energy of fear started disappearing and transforming into delightful surprises that appeared in my artwork. I am grateful for so much more than the painting lessons in this class. It truly is a transformative process to be fully embraced.
I look forward to eventually seeing my first painting completed. My greatest joy will be seeing one of them hanging in our home. All I can say is WOW!! That’s not something I ever could have envisioned happening, ever. All I could see was my daughter doing these paintings because she’s the one with the artistic talents in this household. And now I’m beginning to think that maybe I have some creative talent in me as well.
Until next time… I shall return with more layers and possibly even a finished painting to share with you.