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Serendipity is everywhere — suzanne-mcrae.com

Serendipity is everywhere

I knew that a retreat would be what I needed to help me reconnect with that deeper part of myself that I wasn’t able to do easily in the midst of all the busy-ness of my everyday life.

What I was feeling lately was confusion and I wondered if I could actually figure out what was going on. I was feeling like I had lost my way… feeling ungrounded… feeling like I didn’t know what I wanted to do with my life even though I was doing a lot of things… didn’t know if I wanted to turn left or right… every time I would do one more thing it didn’t always fill the void I was feeling… I felt agitated… feeling like I had to disconnect… yet feeling that I needed to desperately connect with that deeper part of me that guides me and that has the wisdom I’m seeking to find answers for the many questions I have about life.

What I discovered this week is that I’m not lost… I’m not ungrounded… I do know what I want. It’s what I have worked on for myself for so long. I just got slightly side-tracked and didn’t realize that I got lost in the fog (better known as my busy head) along the way. No one else could fix this for me. I knew I had to do my own discovering. And I did.

What I discovered this week is just how important spirituality is in my life. I want greater spiritual awakening of my consciousness. I’m always striving to uncover the truth with everything in my life and finding what resonates with me. Our Universe is unlimited and I love how we all have access to everything we will ever need and so much more if we choose it. I’ve worked for a long time on becoming a better person and dealing with my personal baggage (speaking of which, maybe that’s why bringing so much stuff with me on my retreat was annoying me so much. It was more baggage that I had to carry). I don’t think we are ever done evolving and growing and I love this journey. Reiki opened that door for me several years ago and its been a blessing and a gift in my life ever since.

A few days before I left I received a message from a friend that I had not heard from in a while. In her message she told me that she was reading a wonderful book that she had heard mentioned in the video by Sera Beak. She was highly recommending that I read it. Yesterday I sat outside with my iPad ready to take a look at the book The Divine Feminine Fire – Creativity and Your Yearning to Express Your Self by Teri Degler. Once I started I could not put it down. It was exactly what I needed to be reading.

Then I happened to see in someone’s blog post that she had read the book Women Who Run with the Wolves – Myths and Stories of the Wild Woman Archetype by Clarissa Pinkola Estés. OMG, I had this book with me. It was one of the few I had brought with me. I was thrilled. This is a book that I bought maybe 8 years ago, it had literally jumped out at me in the store, but I could never get into it. When I was packing to leave the other day this was one of the books from my pile of hundreds of books on spirituality that jumped at me again. A few times I went to put it back after I had packed it, but something kept telling me to bring it. So I thought I was just bringing it along for the ride. Little did I know that I would be guided to read it. As soon as I started reading it I couldn’t put it down. When I get back home I want to read in my animal totem book about wolves. Just last weekend late one evening when I was sitting on our front verandah, out in the distance I could hear the wolves howling. I guess now that the snake is gone the wolves are coming out… in the wilderness and in my book.

The first evening I arrived at the cottage I watched to the movie The Way with Martin Sheen who walks the Camino de Santiago in honour of his son who has died. I read in a friend’s blog post about the movie and she was inspired to maybe do this walk herself one day. Another friend that I had dinner with a few weeks ago also brought up the Camino de Santiago. I wondered why Camino de Santiago was coming up so often lately was there a meaning behind it? I was curious since my sister brought up the idea last month that next year for both of our special birthdays we should go on this pilgrimage together, it would be a great experience for us. We would be gone for a month and would have to walk 800 km. I definitely would need to train to get ready for such an adventure. I’m not convinced it will happen, at least not yet. One day maybe if we are both truly inspired to do this journey then. But for now I know a little about the Camino de Santiago and I can maybe get used to the idea that I could only bring 10-15 lbs in a backpack maximum. In the meantime I better work on letting go.

There’s been so much serendipity for me this last week, and it helped get me back to where I want to be.

I am truly blessed and grateful for the clarity that this past week has brought me.

bracelet by Objects of Devotion on Etsy

PS I have an honest mistake to correct from my last blog post…
Since I arrived on Sunday I have observed a heron in the water that hasn’t moved at all. It’s standing still in the same place… and 3 days later the heron is still there. Now talk about being in the moment. I have something to learn from that heron. So off I go to sit on my deck and watch the heron being still for a while.
Someone told me that it was a heron standing in the water when I first got here. I didn’t question it. I saw it there every day. I thought it had moved slightly. Apparently not. Tonight my husband dropped in after work and said let’s go check out that heron… ends up it’s a stick of some sort with sea weeds wrapped up to make it look like the body. My husband laughed wondering how I would explain this to the people who read my blog posts. I’m still laughing. Mistakes happen. Maybe it’s time I get my eyes checked for new prescribed glasses. This was my laugh of the week. 🙂

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  1. I have also seem to keep running into people talking about the Camino. (In Barbara O’Neal’s novel The Garden of Happy Endings a life changing experience happens to the main character on the Camino.)
    I love the heron not a heron It sounds like something I would see/think. Best Wishes.

  2. Oh, my goodness! When I read about the heron in the last post, I thought… “Could it be? That still for 3 days? Is he dead?” Never thought that it might not be a heron at all! How funny!

    I love all of the insights here. You seemed to have really gotten some clarity – All hail retreats!

    • I’m still laughing at myself for not even thinking why it hadn’t moved all week. It’s one of those stupid things that’s had me laughing since I realized what it was in the water. See my next blog post. The mystery is solved. 🙂

  3. I love your post, Suzanne. It is so true that sometimes we just have to figure it out ourselves and I definitely want to check out some of the books you mentioned here. Since they’ve come up before…I’m thinking it’s a sign I need to check them out soon!

  4. Just ordered the wolves one:)

  5. Wonderful wonderful wonderful post! I’ve had “Wolves” since 1994 – and the part about singing up the bones is one of the most profound for me. I have three or four copies of the book. Shirley MacLaine wrote about the Camino – I can’t remember the title – but as I recall, she went herself. Suzanne, go for it! If I can go to Iceland, you can go on the Camino! Word!

    • Love your bit about the wolves Sue. It sounds like you really connect with that book. I’m trying to finish the other one I was reading on my retreat… then will give this one my full attention. 🙂

      I’ll have to check out Shirley MacLaine’s book about the Camino. My sister has a friend who started the Camino yesterday so she’ll be able to get first hand information when she returns. My daughter pulled out the cupboard the other day to show me a can of hot chocolate mix we had with the name brand ‘Camino’. So who knows if we are meant to go soon or not… but the word Camino is popping up everywhere… stay tuned. Enjoy Iceland. Looking forward to hearing all about it when you get back.


  1. […] and connecting with that energy for myself… to much to my surprise realizing it was just a stick in the water with sea weeds… to seeing the real heron… and having a good laugh at myself in the process… to […]

  2. […] we walked up a sand dune that was quite high and steep. As I walked up it made me think of the Camino de Santiago pilgrimage that my sister and I have talked about a few times. I would have to do some serious […]

  3. […] to me. I have a bunion on one foot that’s bugging me lately, and if I ever want to walk the Camino de Santiago pilgrimage with my sister I better make sure for one that my feet are in tip-top shape. Not that […]

  4. […] was important that I get my feet looked at and re-aligned before ever going on an adventure on the Camino de Santiago which involves walking almost 500 miles (800 km). Even though I’m unsure if my sister and I will […]

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