Procrastination at it’s best!

Have you ever wanted to run away because you procrastinate so much? That’s exactly what I want to do these days, to run away from myself. But it’s not working very well, because everywhere I go… there I am. There’s just no escaping. It’s time that I face that demon… when actually what I would rather do is run in the opposite direction.

I’m very good at procrastinating and just how much I wasn’t really all that aware until Monday evening when it was the week 5 webinar for the EFT (emotional freedom technique) class with Nick Ortner that I have taken online. The topic this week, you guessed it P-R-O-C-R-A-S-T-I-N-A-T-I-O-N. I was hoping to come up with a good excuse to avoid listening to it. But instead I forced myself to sit through it, listen to every word and takes notes of what was coming up for me that needed to be addressed once and for all. Throughout listening to the pre-recorded webinar, I kept pausing it and going on Facebook, then on email, then on Twitter… I was all over the place. Then I was online chatting with my sister-in-law. I was pathetic and I knew it. I didn’t need anyone to spell it out to me this time. I saw clearly what I was doing.

This week’s lesson I need to focus on clearing things up so I can become more conscious of when it is that I procrastinate, so I can start making a choice. Whether the choice is to not do it… or the choice is to do it. What I learned the other evening is when I don’t make a choice that’s when it starts to eat away at me, when the self-sabotage and beating myself up for not doing enough, not doing the right thing, not completing my to-do list and so on happens. If I can make a conscious choice one way or another, then the negative impact will disappear. Then it will not feel like I have a weight hanging over my head.

Lately as I saw my piles of papers or other things getting out of control and I knew that I was in trouble. I was seeing the pattern unfolding once again. A few weeks ago I went through a huge pile of stuff, that got sorted and put away but subconsciously somewhere in my mind I knew this was a temporary fix again. It wouldn’t last. It wouldn’t be long before the next small grass fire would become a huge forest fire where I wouldn’t be able to see through the trees again… that’s exactly what my piles getting out of control feel like to me. When a pile becomes many piles suddenly in the same room and then spreads to other rooms I know something is going on. But I have always chosen to ignore going to dig into those feelings to see what was behind them. It’s always been easier to pretend that it didn’t exist. But I’m getting pretty tired of pretending.

I have many questions that I need to ask myself and address on this topic. I will journal and get to the bottom of this issue that is holding me back. I will do the EFT tapping on all of it after… and hopefully I will be able to put out the forest fire that’s burning out of control.

Hiding underneath these piles, I sense that I have huge fears. Fears of what will happen once I finish some of the bigger projects that I’m working on. How much more will I have to do? Or what will I have to do after that is completed? A part of me is afraid of running out of things to do and being bored even though I know that this will probably never happen. How big will the next thing be that I will want to do? I won’t lie. It’s all scary. The fear of the unknown. I also feel somewhat stuck again which is never a pleasant feeling. Time will tell what this procrastination is all about, what the core issues behind it are. I also know that part of my fears now have to do with my retreat coming up this weekend for 5 days. In my head I have it all figured out, all the things that I want to bring with me to do next week. But my heart knows that it doesn’t feel like the retreat I was envisioning for myself if I go with what my head wants me to bring. I hope to be able to leave lighter and freer so I can enjoy those 5 days and come back refreshed and rested.

Nick Ortner also addressed the issue on Monday evening of how we don’t always celebrate our accomplishments… all the significant things that we finish on our to-do lists every day often goes unnoticed. I’m guilty of that one. I only seem to be able to add more things to my to-do list, it’s never ending. No wonder I don’t want to finish some of the things on my list, some of the bigger things since it might mean piling more on that list instead of pausing to celebrate some of my accomplishments.

My new motto…

Feel free to Pin the quote or share it.

Do you ever find yourself procrastinating? Have you figured out what works to get you out of that rut?

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Comments

  1. Oh, boy do I ever hear you on procrastination!

    I have never thought about possible fears lurking. I found that really interesting. I like to think that I work better under pressure, so I purposely leave things for last minute. But the perfectionist in me isn’t happy with piles of paper and long to-do lists. I can feel my breath shorten when I jump from one thing to the other, mostly online. The distractions are so overpowering, I can hardly hear my own voice.

    The best thing I do to get out of a procrastination rut is to switch off all technology, and pull out paper and pen. I do a brain-dumping session until my breath is back to normal because I’m no longer carrying all of my to-dos on my chest. Then, I prioritize. What can I do today? Tomorrow? Next week? This is the only way I can get anything started.

    I just have to remember to keep putting my to-do list on my to-do list! LOL!

    • My distractions happen mostly online going from one thing to another… where everything seems endless. It’s my weakness. Gabriella I love how you turn off all your technology to get yourself out of procrastination and get yourself back on track. I will give it a try. Thanks.

  2. Great post! I have been known to procrastinate now and them and am also proud to say I wrapped up several things the last couple of weeks that I’d been procrastinating on and it felt soooo good.

  3. Hi Suzanne, I’m so glad you’ve decided to stop running because there’ll be no more running away once you’re in Kelly Rae’s course! Have fun on your wonderful new adventure, I’m so happy for you.
    Love you,
    Lenore

  4. Suzanne, For me, in the area of procrastination, to the best of my current awareness . . . it’s more about piling on an unreasonable number of projects . . . and about wanting to push thru things rather than accepting what seems to be a more “Divine timing plan.” So . . . I guess what I’m saying is that what might look to others like procrastination is actually self-care for me. (I am fairly Type A if you haven’t already guessed. ) Good for you for looking at it. I hope your retreat unfolds EXACTLY how it best nurtures you.

    • You are giving me food for thought here. That is exactly what I do pile on as much as I possibly can then can’t get through it all, only to pile more on. It makes sense then that I’m also a Type A personality. I appreciate you dropping by to read some of my blog posts. It’s nice getting to know you. More about the retreat to come… I’m enjoying the nice break and beautiful weather by the water.

  5. OMG Suzanne! I could’ve written this post, right down to the webinar with Nick Ortner! I’ve download the replays and that’s as far as I’ve gotten. AAWK!!! OK, well I’m making myself a promise here, you’ve inspired me to listen to at least one of them tonight. Thanks!

    • Love that you also joined Nick Ortner for the 7 week program Susan. Don’t forget to join the private Facebook group if you haven’t already. It is an incredibly supportive community no matter where you are in the program. Glad to have you on board with procrastination. 😉

  6. Suzanne, such a strong post today on procrastination. But I have to say I think you are being a bit hard on yourself girl! Wow, just think of all of the the things you are accomplishing every single day… not everything on the list has to get done. We all put things off- so I have an idea, instead of calling it procrastination, let’s just say we are re-assessing our priorities!! ha!

    • I love your take on this Sue, ‘re-assessing our priorities’. It takes a while for me to see things sometimes, writing helps for sure… and having someone gently tell me that I’m being a bit hard on myself helps confirm it. 🙂
      Thanks for dropping by to read.

  7. Suzanne, are you sure we weren’t twins separated at birth? Piles of papers that keep moving, moving, moving…mysteriously…”They followed me home, Mom, can I keep them?” LOVED your post!

  8. Being a procrastinator myself, I totally understand your post. Sometimes I think my procrastination is fear of what I’m working on not being perfect. If it isn’t finished, it can’t be judged.

    • Hi Connie, I totally relate to how you see procrastination. Not finishing something for fear of being judged… in my case when I don’t finish something I get judged by myself which is probably much worse than anyone would ever tell me. Thanks for dropping by.

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