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Birthday blessings for my son! — suzanne-mcrae.com

Birthday blessings for my son!

Dear son,

Already 22 years ago today you came into our family and the world.

I never expected what would lie ahead for us when you were born… the journey you would bring me on was to be kept a surprise for a little while longer.

Over the years you took me places I had never been or ever imagined being taken to… into systems and mazes I had never dealt with in ways you would show me how to navigate… you showed me the many hats I would be wearing (and here I didn’t think I was a hat person)… the needle in the haystack I would try to find so I could help you make your life easier (I loved sewing and needlework so I was sure I would find that needle one day)… the hundreds of unconventional things I would be learning and awakening to (which are the many gifts I am blessed with today)… the sleepless nights… and the millions of tears I shed of joy, sadness and so much uncertainty… not counting the hundreds of emotions that flowed through me in the process that I could not control.

I’ve done it all without knowing that it would help me uncover who the true you really was deep within… I knew that you were not the diagnosis, the label you were given… but I didn’t know how to get there… I just knew that there a gem in you waiting to be uncovered and unwrapped a little at a time so it could be revealed to me in the fashion it needed to be.

Today as you turn 22 years old… I’m in a much better place of accepting what is… and the many gifts you have brought for me I see much more clearly… I am forever grateful for the life you have chosen to be born into, that has helped me to find who I truly am as well.

 I see your shining light everywhere you go… you are brilliant and so intelligent, yet communicating with words doesn’t come easy in the way we sometimes see it, but you always find ways to express what you want to tell us… you have an amazing sense of humour… you are so natural at acting, performing and singing… you don’t care what others think, you always do what feels right for you… you are a sensitive soul who knows things on levels that many of us will probably never know… you are determined and stubborn, which I saw as gifts very early on in your life… and the simple things you want out of life never cease to amaze me… you are a big bundle of joy and happiness and it shows in everything you do and everywhere you go… you love discovering more about yourself through colours, your long hair and let’s not forget tattoos… who knows one day Mom might let you get a real one. 🙂

I could not be more proud of you… you have worked so hard all your life… and we have finally learned that it’s in allowing you to just be, that you are learning the most, changing and evolving as you need to… the journey continues and one day I look forward to looking back over the years and seeing even more of the amazingness of the real you that is yet to become!

Thank you for choosing me as your mother and taking me on this journey! xo

Blessings on your birthday and wishing you a year and lifetime filled with every one of your wishes and dreams to come true!

Mom xo

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  1. christine says:

    Hi Suzanne,

    You talked to me about Amy’s Oreo cookie cake… What a beauty!
    Kyle looYou both look so happy on this picture.

    I love this part you wrote…. Little challenge.
    Can you find 3 examples, for each qualities, where this is true for you?

    you have an amazing sense of humour… you are so natural at acting, performing and singing… you don’t care what others think, you always do what feels right for you… you are a sensitive soul who knows things on levels that many of us will probably never know… you are determined and stubborn, which I saw as gifts very early on in your life… and the simple things you want out of life never cease to amaze me… you are a big bundle of joy and happiness and it shows in everything you do and everywhere you go… you love discovering

    You too can grab a lilac with both hands and smell it!

    Much Love

    Christine xxx

    • Hi Christine, thanks you… This isn’t the oreo cake. The one shown here was on my birthday a different kind… his Oreo cake is coming, I’ll take photos to show you.

      Now you are giving me Byron Katie homework to do… I will get back to you with my findings. 🙂

      Thank you my friend for being there these last few years of my journey… I have grown tremendously because of you.

      Suzanne xo

  2. Suzanne, this is wonderful! You have such a beautiful family, and they are lucky to have you!

  3. Christine (a different one!) says:

    Suzanne – your words are flowing … thank you for writing and for sharing with everyone. I have goosebumps after reading your heartfelt reflections on Kyle’s first 22 years. It’s no wonder that you were chosen to be his mom. He is a very special young man, authentic and kind, and has helped me to see some things with fresh eyes too.
    Bravo Suzanne ! Bonne Fete Kyle ! Christine @ the farm 🙂

    • Hi Christine @ the farm 🙂

      Thank you so much for your kind words. I’m so happy and blessed that our paths have crossed these last few years. You have given Kyle some wonderful experiences at your farm… and you all continue to grow along with him and provide him with many more great opportunities. We are forever grateful to you and Anne and the work that you do.

      Suzanne xo

  4. What a wonderful post, Suzanne!

  5. Angela Pilon says:

    What a touching letter…..you are truly an inspiration to many parents! Many of us can learn many lessons from you…. when I read your post this story reminds me of your family & Kyle:

    When you’re going to have a baby, it’s like planning a fabulous vacation trip to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum, the Sistine Chapel, Gondolas. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It’s all very exciting. After several months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, “Welcome to Holland!” “Holland?” you say. “What do you mean, Holland? I signed up for Italy. I’m supposed to be in Italy. All my life I’ve dreamed of going to Italy.” But there’s been a change in the flight plan. They’ve landed in Holland and there you must stay. The important thing is that they haven’t taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place full of pestilence, famine, and disease. It’s just a different place. So, you must go out and buy new guidebooks. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met. It’s just a different place. It’s slower paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you’ve been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around. You begin to notice that Holland has windmills. Holland has tulips. And Holland even has Rembrandts. But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy, and they’re all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life you will say, “Yes, that’s where I was supposed to go. That’s what I had planned.” And the pain of that experience will never, ever, ever, go away. The loss of that dream is a very significant loss. But if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn’t get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things about Holland.

    We need to be reminded sometimes to appreciated our children for the blessings they are and not spend our time wishing for what we would of like them to be. We need to embrace them with open arms …..regardless there challenges or set backs! Things happen for a reason….God never gives us anything with cannot handle. Kyle has changed many lives….Meeting Kyle when I was only 13 has truly changed my life…..without having been blessed with crossing paths with your Family I would not be the person I am today or working in the field I do! Thanks for being a ray of sunshine and touching so many lives!! Bonne Fete Kyle:)


    • Hi Angela,

      It’s been a few years now since you met Kyle he was quite young at the time. I am so happy that you shared how he’s influenced and changed your life… and how that’s since created a career for you in helping so many other children with special needs. I am in awe that my son has helped change others lives in some way. And especially grateful of what you might have learned with him that is helping others.

      A Reiki teacher told me a few years ago that one pebble dropped in a pond can ripple out far and wide… making a difference for many without us even being aware of it sometimes.

      The poem Welcome to Holland I still remember when I came across that online when Kyle was much younger, I felt understood. It made sense to me all the feelings I was having that I couldn’t put words too. It helped me at that time. Things have really changed since then. I am very grateful that you sent it to me to share with others.

      Suzanne xo

  6. Beautiful, Suzanne. Our children come into this world to teach us. Indeed they do… : )

    • I totally agree Susan, and here I always thought I’d be teaching my children, ah… it turned out to be the other way around.
      Thanks for dropping in.
      Suzanne xo

  7. Wow Suzanne!!! Tellement bien dit… Tu grandit a chaque jour je le voie tellement…Kyle fait tu beau progres grace a lui et aussi a toute vous autres..Il est chanceux d avoir une famille comme vous… Déja 22 ans les années passent tellement vite.. Prendre un jour a la fois et apprécier chaque petit moment passez en famille… ou avec vos amies…Félicitation pour avoir partager… Ta voisine qui vous admire a chaque jour qui passe… Love you guys so much….xoxoxo

    • Allo Suzanne, merci pour ton beau message. C’est très apprécié. Les années vont tellement vite, surtout quand ont voit nos enfants grandir et vieillir eux aussi. 🙂
      Merci encore, Suzanne xo

  8. I love your blog (the best yet)! You are an AMAZING mother and if Kyle could express his feelings I know that he would say THANK YOU mom for who you are, for everything you have helped me with, for BELIEVING in me, for letting me BE the person I choose to be, for helping me GROW and most importantly for all your LOVE and CARE. He certainly picked the right FAMILY for his journey in life. Look at the gifts he has brought to all of you (and us). Happy celebration!

    • Thank you for the beautiful message. It’s so true that Kyle has brought many gifts to each one of us in our family.
      It’s been an emotionally charged day with all the beautiful feedback I got from so many… it’s time for lights out.
      Suzanne xo

  9. That is absolutely amazing Suzanne…wow you are such an inspiration to all of us!!! I haven’t seen Kyle in a long time but I can still see his beautiful smile and sparkle in the eye that is still there is this beautiful picture with you. What a character he is….loves to laugh and for sure be his own person (love the hair!!). Kyle always knew what he wanted and would get it one way or the other. This is a great way to take all that you have lived with him into perspective and highlight all of the great things that he has brought to your life. Like I’ve always told you…both you and Gary are angels to this young man…he was so lucky and blessed to be placed in your family to be able to live his best life ever!! Kyle is happy and healthy that is what matters…and most importantly loved and accepted for who he is. What a great story…can’t wait to see all of the other adventures that he has planned for you and your family….not a dull moment I’m sure…take care and thanks for sharing..

    • It’s been quite a few years since Kyle graduated from elementary school and you worked with him Sylvie. A lot has changed since then for him. As for adventures, Kyle is never short on planning those and letting us know what he wants to do. Thank you for your lovely message. 🙂
      Suzanne xo

  10. oh sweet mamaheart of yours,
    this is exquisite with love and wisdom and understanding
    and my own heart leans in
    to share your joy and tears
    …I so understand the maze of a journey
    that has developed such strong compassion
    in you.
    My youngest son shares these challenges,
    his wings also shimmering with a beautiful differentness,
    and learning to gratefully unwrap
    the package of who he is
    has been a part of my own becoming.
    I sqeeze out tears as I read your wonderful words
    and cheer wildly in your corner….yours and your sons.
    Much love to you both
    and may all his days be peace,

    • You write so beautifully Jennifer. Love your message, your understanding and also how your son is also helping you on your journey of becoming. What beautiful gifts these children bring to us. Thank you for sharing your beautiful message.
      Suzanne xo

  11. This was soooo beautiful. Made me teary… he is SO blessed to have a mother like you. And I can tell you are so blessed to have him. I just love the journey the two of you have gotten to share, and continue to share together. =)
    Sarah Treanor recently posted..Juicy Tuesday!My Profile

  12. I love how you have honored your son for all of who he is in this post. What an amazing way to do something special for his birthday.
    Michele Bergh recently posted..Believe In Yourself – Free Inspirational DownloadMy Profile

    • Thank you Michele. My dream come true would be for my son to be able to read my posts one day and understand the messages I have written to honour him. Instead I feel he will get telepathically or energetically to be able to understand the energy of the heart instead of through the use of words. Thank you for dropping in. I always love seeing you and reading what you have to say. xo

  13. Barbara Michel says:

    Wonderful post Suzanne! You and your journey with Kyle is so inspiring! xo


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